To Listen to the sermon, click here
We are all familiar with the fact that David was a man after God’s own heart. Yes, we know that David was guilty of adultery, and then in an effort to hide his sin he committed murder, but in God’s eyes these are footnotes on the pages of David’s life… these sins don’t define the man.
These sins don’t define the man because David repented of his sins… that is to say he learned not only to hate his sins, but he also developed a love for the things God loves. In our text today we are going to see the consequences of sinful judging. What happened to David can happen to you and to me… and what is even worse, we can be the ones guilty of making sinful judgments.
1 Chronicles 19:1-3 – It happened after this that Nahash the king of the people of Ammon died, and his son reigned in his place. 2 Then David said, “I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, because his father showed kindness to me.” So David sent messengers to comfort him concerning his father. And David’s servants came to Hanun in the land of the people of Ammon to comfort him. 3 And the princes of the people of Ammon said to Hanun, “Do you think that David really honors your father because he has sent comforters to you? Did his servants not come to you to search and to overthrow and to spy out the land?”
Our text starts out with the phrase, “It happened after this,” so immediately we need to ask ourselves, “After what?” Well the previous chapters tell us that David has been going to war against the Philistines, the Moabites, the Ammonites, the Syrians, the Edomites, and the Amalekites, and he defeated them all.
Then we are told that Nahash, the king of the Ammonites died. I trust that name sounds somewhat familiar to you. We first met Nahash in 1 Samuel 11. Nahash was the king who threatened to attack Jabeshgilead after Saul had been anointed king over Israel, about sixty years prior to this. Nahash threatened to go to war against Jabeshgilead unless every man of the city agreed to gouge out his right eye. (Nice bedtime story, right?). The people of Jabeshgilead sent messengers to Saul to tell him about the threat, and Saul as you know, rose to the occasion… empowered by the Spirit of God, Saul led Israel to a victory over Nahash and the Ammonites.
This is probably the same Nahash, or it could be his son, we don’t know for sure. Either way, this Nahash had been kind to David. We aren’t told how or when Nahash extended this kindness… perhaps when David was fleeing from Saul, Nahash came to his aid and helped David. We don’t know, but whatever the reason, our text makes it clear that David considered Nahash an ally and a friend. David had every intention of honoring Nahash when he sent a delegation to mourn his death.
After Nahash died, his son Hanun succeeded him as king, and Hanun had some very suspicious people around him. They are fully persuaded that David isn’t trying to be kind at all, and that he is using this occasion to spy out their land and conquer them.
I think we need to realize it is a fact of life that sometimes you and I are going to be misunderstood, even when our motives are as pure as the driven snow. Misunderstandings are a fact of life in this sin-cursed world.
The following is meant to be a helpful tool to men who often misunderstand the women in their life. It was written as coming from a woman to a man:
WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to say not one word.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you; do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’. That will bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying, “You don’t have a clue, do you?”
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.
Misunderstandings are a fact of life in this sin-cursed world.
1 Chronicles 19:4 – Therefore Hanun took David’s servants, shaved them, and cut off their garments in the middle, at their buttocks, and sent them away.
Hanun is obviously trying to pick a fight, and if that was his goal, he succeeded. Hanun shaved each man’s beard off. This was especially humiliating to the Hebrews, as they consider beards a mark of dignity… in fact, many Jewish men didn’t even trim their beard. In that culture, many men would rather die than to have their beard shaved off, because to be clean shaven was the mark of a slave… free men wore beards. By the way 2 Samuel 10 tells us that Hanun shaved off half their beards which would be even more embarrassing.
Keil and Delitzsch. “With the value universally set upon the beard by the Hebrews and other Oriental nations, as being man’s greatest ornament, the cutting off of one-half of it was the greatest insult that could have been offered to the ambassadors, and through them to David their king.”
But Hanun wasn’t done… he also cut off their garments to expose the shame of their nakedness, especially that of their circumcision which was derided by the Gentiles. It would be like forcing each of these men to disrobe and put on a hospital gown, and then cut the gown off at the waist… to say this was embarrassing would be like saying the universe is big, or the sun is bright. It was a move calculated to not only humiliate David’s men, but also to provoke a war with David.
1 Chronicles 19:5 – Then some went and told David about the men; and he sent to meet them, because the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, “Wait at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.”
I think there is a simple but important lesson here. We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. All of us have done things and have had things done to us that cause us great shame. Heed David’s advice… give yourself some time to get over it. Contrary to popular opinion, time doesn’t heal all wounds… God is the One who does that. God is the Great Physician, but let’s be wise enough to realize God doesn’t usually snap His fingers so that in an instant the pain is gone. God could do that, but that’s not the way He normally does it. God uses a slower method so that we will draw close to Him in the process. To use the language of our text, “Take a deep breath. Slow down. Let your beard grow.”
1 Chronicles 19:6,7 – When the people of Ammon saw that they had made themselves repulsive to David, Hanun and the people of Ammon sent a thousand talents of silver to hire for themselves chariots and horsemen from Mesopotamia, from Syrian Maachah, and from Zobah. 7 So they hired for themselves thirty-two thousand chariots, with the king of Maachah and his people, who came and encamped before Medeba. Also the people of Ammon gathered together from their cities, and came to battle.
Let’s not forget how/why this has escalated to the brink of warfare… this is happening because of a misunderstanding. Instead of taking the time to ask questions to find out David’s motives, the Ammonites thought the worst. Do you think there might be a lesson here for us? When we come face to face with conflict, we have a choice.
Proverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
We have a choice as to how we respond to any and every situation. We can choose the flesh or the Spirit… we choose either soft words or harsh words. If we use harsh words, we are choosing to throw gasoline onto the fire. If we choose gentle words, we are throwing water on the fire. That doesn’t guarantee that we will be able to put the fire out, but we can do our part to be a peacemaker.
1 Chronicles 19:8-13 – Now when David heard of it, he sent Joab and all the army of the mighty men. 9 Then the people of Ammon came out and put themselves in battle array before the gate of the city, and the kings who had come were by themselves in the field. 10 When Joab saw that the battle line was against him before and behind, he chose some of Israel’s best and put them in battle array against the Syrians. 11 And the rest of the people he put under the command of Abishai his brother, and they set themselves in battle array against the people of Ammon. 12 Then he said, “If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me; but if the people of Ammon are too strong for you, then I will help you. 13 “Be of good courage, and let us be strong for our people and for the cities of our God. And may the LORD do what is good in His sight.”
“Be of good courage.” Many times that is easier said than done. I believe it is much easier to be of good courage when others encourage us (as Joab is encouraging his troops). Several years ago, there was a television program on PBS about the Library of Congress. PBS’s former chairman, Sir Huw Wheldon, was standing in a mountain of card index files. Sounds like a heart-racing program, doesn’t it?
About halfway through the program, Dr. Daniel Boorstin, the Librarian of Congress, brought out a little blue box from a small closet that once held the library’s rarities. The label on the box read: Contents of the President’s Pockets on the Night of April 14, 1865… as you might know, that was the night Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. All of a sudden, Dr. Boorstin had captured every viewer’s attention.
Boorstin then proceeded to remove the items in the small container and display them for all to see. There were five things in the box: 1. A handkerchief, embroidered “A. Lincoln.” 2. A pen knife. 3. A glasses case repaired with string. 4. A purse containing a $5 bill… Confederate money by the way. 5. Some old and worn newspaper clippings. “The clippings,” Boorstin said, “were concerned with the great deeds of Abraham Lincoln. And one of them actually reports a speech by John Bright which says that Abraham Lincoln is ‘one of the greatest men of all times.’”
Today, almost everyone would agree. It is universally accepted that British statesman John Bright was spot-on in his assessment of Lincoln, but in 1865, that wasn’t the case… there were a lot of Lincoln-haters back in those days. History tells us that President Lincoln’s many critics were fierce and vocal. I don’t think it is easy for any one of us to really understand the agony he endured as he witnessed firsthand the country he loved being ripped apart by war.
There is something we can all relate to but nonetheless very sad as we picture this great leader seeking comfort and encouragement from a few old newspaper clippings. Lesson?
Everyone needs encouragement. You might not think a great statesman like Abraham Lincoln would ever need it, but he did. I don’t care how strong a person may appear to be on the outside… on the inside there isn’t a person alive who doesn’t appreciate words of encouragement.
Hebrews 3:12,13 – See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
In light of this text that we studied on a Wednesday night several weeks ago I have asked you to think of the nicest thing you can honestly say about each of the other members of our church, write it down, and turn it in to Pixi so she can collect them and hand them out next Sunday. Don’t wait for others to encourage you, take the initiative and look for opportunities to build them up. Encouragement is like oxygen to the soul.
1 Chronicles 19:13 – “Be of good courage, and let us be strong for our people and for the cities of our God. And may the LORD do what is good in His sight.”
Not only are we to be of good courage… not only are we to encourage others, but we are to be strong. And not just be strong, but we are to be strong for our people and for the cities of God. I came across the following illustration that captures the essence of what it means to be strong for our people.
It was a busy day in our Costa Mesa, California home. But then, with 10 children and one on the way, every day was a bit hectic. On this particular day, however, I was having trouble doing even routine chores… all because of one little boy.
Len, who was three at the time, was on my heels no matter where I went. Whenever I stopped to do something and turned back around, I would trip over him. Several times, I patiently suggested fun activities to keep him occupied. “Wouldn’t you like to play on the swing set?” I asked again.
But he simply smiled an innocent smile and said, “Oh, that’s all right, Mommy. I’d rather be in here with you.” Then he continued to bounce happily along behind me.
After stepping on his toes for the fifth time, I began to lose my patience and insisted that he go outside and play with the other children. When I asked him why he was acting this way, he looked up at me with sweet green eyes and said, “Well, Mommy, in preschool my teacher told me to walk in Jesus’ footsteps. But I can’t see him, so I’m walking in yours.”
Parents, our kids are watching us. Our kids were born with the tendency to idolize us. We need to be strong for them.
14 So Joab and the people who were with him drew near for the battle against the Syrians, and they fled before him. 15 When the people of Ammon saw that the Syrians were fleeing, they also fled before Abishai his brother, and entered the city. So Joab went to Jerusalem. 16 Now when the Syrians saw that they had been defeated by Israel, they sent messengers and brought the Syrians who were beyond the River, and Shophach the commander of Hadadezer’s army went before them. 17 When it was told David, he gathered all Israel, crossed over the Jordan and came upon them, and set up in battle array against them. So when David had set up in battle array against the Syrians, they fought with him. 18 Then the Syrians fled before Israel; and David killed seven thousand charioteers and forty thousand foot soldiers of the Syrians, and killed Shophach the commander of the army. 19 And when the servants of Hadadezer saw that they were defeated by Israel, they made peace with David and became his servants. So the Syrians were not willing to help the people of Ammon anymore.
I want to spend some time applying this text to us today. I started out today’s sermon by saying… We are all familiar with the fact that David was a man after God’s own heart. Yes, we know that David was guilty of adultery, and then in an effort to hide his sin he committed murder, but in God’s eyes these are footnotes on the pages of David’s life… these sins don’t define the man.
These sins don’t define the man because David repented of his sins, that is to say he learned not only to hate his sins, but he also developed a love for the things God loves. In our text today we have seen the consequences of sinful judging. What happened to David can happen to you and to me… and what is even worse, we can be the ones guilty of making sinful judgments.
One point that jumps off the page is this… God is merciful. He is quick to forgive those who repent. Hanun didn’t repent, and while David is known as a man after God’s own heart in spite of his sins, Hanun is known as a fool. He is known as a fool because he heeded the advice of his counselors who made sinful judgments. Are you curious as what happened to the Ammonites under king Hanun?
1 Chronicles 20:1-3 – It happened in the spring of the year, at the time kings go out to battle, that Joab led out the armed forces and ravaged the country of the people of Ammon, and came and besieged Rabbah. But David stayed at Jerusalem. And Joab defeated Rabbah and overthrew it. 2 Then David took their king’s crown from his head, and found it to weigh a talent of gold, and there were precious stones in it. And it was set on David’s head. Also he brought out the spoil of the city in great abundance. 3 And he brought out the people who were in it, and put them to work with saws, with iron picks, and with axes. So David did to all the cities of the people of Ammon. Then David and all the people returned to Jerusalem.
The Ammonites were reduced to slavery because of one man’s sin that he never repented of… the sin of sinful judging. When I think of the counsel that Hanun listened to, I can’t help but think of the Bible’s teaching on the tongue.
James 3:5,6 – Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
One of the reasons I believe the Bible has so much to say about communication is this… we don’t listen perfectly and we don’t speak perfectly, and because of indwelling sin, we also have a tendency to jump to conclusions. In fact we can make sinful judgments w/o a word being spoken.
1 Samuel 1:9-14: So Hannah arose after they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat by the doorpost of the tabernacle of the Lord. 10 And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish. 11 Then she made a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head.” 12 And it happened, as she continued praying before the Lord, that Eli watched her mouth. 13 Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk. 14 So Eli said to her, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!”
InActs 2on the Day of Pentecost the church was born and the Holy Spirit descended from Heaven to live within men’s hearts… believers gathered together from many different nations heard the Gospel in their own native language. What did unbelievers think about this scene taking place before their very eyes? They said, “These men are drunk.”
Because we don’t have perfect understanding we see things and hear things and immediately we jump to conclusions… conclusions that are all too often way off base. Sometimes these conclusions are harmless, they amount to nothing more than misunderstandings, but other times the consequences are devastating… as in our text today.
So how are we going to guard against sinful judging? Has God given us any tools to help us in this area? I think you know the answer to that question is a resounding yes. Here are seven questions we need to ask ourselves that will keep us from making sinful judgments:
1. Do I have the facts right?
Proverbs 18:13 “He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.”
2. Should love cover it? Is it sinful or is it a preference?
1 Peter 4:8 “And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.”
3. Is my timing right? Should I wait 24 hours to allow myself a cooling off period to see if I still believe I need to address the matter?
Proverbs 15:23 “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!”
4. Have I gotten the log out of my own eye first?
Matthew 7:3-5 “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
5. Is my attitude right? Am I lighthearted? Am I trying to condemn or restore the other person?
Galatians 5:15 “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
6. Are my words loving?
Ephesians 4:15 “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.”
7. Have I asked for God’s help?
Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
A lot could be said on each of these seven points, but I will comment on just one, point # 2. Should love cover it? Is it sinful or is it a preference?
The story is told of a church in the Northeastern United States that had a disagreement over where the piano should be placed in the sanctuary. “Some felt that the music sounded better when the pianist played next to the wall to the left of the pulpit. Others were convinced that the right side of the auditorium was the best acoustical choice. So they began experimenting with the piano placement, moving the instrument around from week to week. Both sides were convinced they were right. Soon members of each faction were racing each other to the building on Sunday mornings to see that the piano was “properly” placed before the service started. People began showing up earlier each week, trying to beat the other group to the piano. One day the disagreement culminated in a physical tug-of-war. Members arrived to find the piano standing in the middle of the sanctuary with a handful of people on either side shouting, arguing and pulling with all their might toward opposite walls” (From: War in the Pews).
Ugly, isn’t it? But lets understand this… the piano wasn’t the problem. The key to unity in the church isn’t the removal of all conflict. That won’t happen until we get to Heaven. The key to unity is a spirit of humility in the hearts of God’s people. Ephesians 4 commands us to work hard to protect the unity of the church… this is non-negotiable for all believers.
Ephesians 4:1-3 – I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
All too often, conflict grows out of differences in personal preferences… therefore it is imperative that we acquire the skill to differentiate between our preferences and “Thus saith the Lord.” When we elevate our preferences to the status of God’s commands, how are we functioning any differently than the Pharisees? And in doing so, we are threatening the unity of the church.
Sometimes the commands of Scripture are general, such as “Be holy even as I am holy,” and “Be not conformed to the world.” But the way we put these general commands into practice is going to differ from person to person, depending on our backgrounds and level of maturity. Problems arise when we take our personal preferences and force them on others, thinking that we are the end all and be all when it comes to deciding right and wrong!
Romans 14:1-5 – Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things. 2 For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. 3 Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. 4 Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand. 5 One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind.
